It’s been a week of adjustments. Nothing wild, just the little unexpected things that come our way, causing us to go left when we had made plans to go right.
On Monday morning our daughter Kaitlyn texted to tell me that little Andy had been up sick in the night. It’s awful when a little one is sick. We’d all been together the day before at Ben’s first ‘Friend’ birthday party, and Andy had been sticking pretty close to my side, but other than being tired out by the end of the party, he seemed fine. Turns out he had something brewing.
By Monday evening he seemed much better, and they assumed Tuesday would be back to their regular routine of him going to his day home. For me, Tuesday is my hiking day. Everyone who knows me knows this is a ‘protected day’. I try my best to avoid making any other plans or booking appointments on Tuesdays. However, whoever controls the weather has not quite figured out how important this day is, because every once in a while, we have weather that just does not cooperate with our hiking plans. This past Tuesday was one of those days. With daytime temperatures forecast to be around -25°C and overnight temperatures closer to -30°C, and a wind chill to add to it all, hiking would have been dangerous. With great disappointment we cancelled our plans.
As I’ve gained in age, I’ve tried to gain in wisdom and patience. I have more luck with this some days than others. With our hike cancelled, I proudly patted myself on the back for being able to so deftly pivot. I appreciated that I’d have a full, unspoken for, day available for me on Tuesday to put the finishing touches on a presentation I am to make on Saturday. The big part of the presentation was already complete, but the finicky little bits always take much more time than I anticipate, so I found myself being grateful for a wide-open Tuesday schedule.
Until Tuesday morning that is.
While I was riding my bike in the basement, before settling at my desk, my phone rang. It was Kaitlyn. It turns out that while Andy had seemed well on Monday night, and Tuesday at breakfast for that matter, the truth was his stomach had other plans. With both of his parents being teachers, and having been in this position myself, I understand how difficult it is to find a replacement with almost no notice.
‘Bring him here’, I said. ‘We’ll have a gentle day together.’
Meanwhile, my brain was in overdrive trying to plan how I’d fit what I’d planned to do on Tuesday, into some other time. Once I’d known we would not be hiking, I’d booked a very quick appointment mid morning. With Andy coming, I was pretty sure Jim could cover for me, but I needed to figure it out.
I thought of a quote I’d read just days earlier. I liked it enough to take a snapshot of it. It popped into my busy mind.
On Monday morning our daughter Kaitlyn texted to tell me that little Andy had been up sick in the night. It’s awful when a little one is sick. We’d all been together the day before at Ben’s first ‘Friend’ birthday party, and Andy had been sticking pretty close to my side, but other than being tired out by the end of the party, he seemed fine. Turns out he had something brewing.
By Monday evening he seemed much better, and they assumed Tuesday would be back to their regular routine of him going to his day home. For me, Tuesday is my hiking day. Everyone who knows me knows this is a ‘protected day’. I try my best to avoid making any other plans or booking appointments on Tuesdays. However, whoever controls the weather has not quite figured out how important this day is, because every once in a while, we have weather that just does not cooperate with our hiking plans. This past Tuesday was one of those days. With daytime temperatures forecast to be around -25°C and overnight temperatures closer to -30°C, and a wind chill to add to it all, hiking would have been dangerous. With great disappointment we cancelled our plans.
As I’ve gained in age, I’ve tried to gain in wisdom and patience. I have more luck with this some days than others. With our hike cancelled, I proudly patted myself on the back for being able to so deftly pivot. I appreciated that I’d have a full, unspoken for, day available for me on Tuesday to put the finishing touches on a presentation I am to make on Saturday. The big part of the presentation was already complete, but the finicky little bits always take much more time than I anticipate, so I found myself being grateful for a wide-open Tuesday schedule.
Until Tuesday morning that is.
While I was riding my bike in the basement, before settling at my desk, my phone rang. It was Kaitlyn. It turns out that while Andy had seemed well on Monday night, and Tuesday at breakfast for that matter, the truth was his stomach had other plans. With both of his parents being teachers, and having been in this position myself, I understand how difficult it is to find a replacement with almost no notice.
‘Bring him here’, I said. ‘We’ll have a gentle day together.’
Meanwhile, my brain was in overdrive trying to plan how I’d fit what I’d planned to do on Tuesday, into some other time. Once I’d known we would not be hiking, I’d booked a very quick appointment mid morning. With Andy coming, I was pretty sure Jim could cover for me, but I needed to figure it out.
I thought of a quote I’d read just days earlier. I liked it enough to take a snapshot of it. It popped into my busy mind.
There is a Japanese legend that says:
If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station.
The longer it takes you to get off the more expensive return trip will be.
If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station.
The longer it takes you to get off the more expensive return trip will be.
Hmm.
I realized I was on a train headed in a direction I was no longer going, and the quicker I could get off, and get on the right train, the better off I’d be. This was clearly no longer going to be the day I’d pictured. It was no longer a hiking day, it was no longer a work-day, it was no longer a quick appointment day. Andy didn't need any of those. He doesn't know about workshops and Powerpoints. He knows about Gramma Days. And he needed one. I was able to hop off the train I was on, and catch a very inexpensive train back to the place where I could be fully present for Andy.
We all have a tendency to stay on trains longer than we should. We make plans and have trouble letting them go when circumstances change. We set our sights on a goal, and when the goalposts move, we keep aiming toward our original goal. We make effort after effort with certain people, coming up disappointed time after time. We jump on the latest fad, even when we know it really doesn’t work for us at all. We stay in workplaces, jobs, and relationships that are not longer headed in the direction we want to go. The longer we stay on the wrong train, the more expensive the return trip is.
I find I can hop off trains that resemble cancelled hikes, and planned work-days, fairly easily. I can pivot easily when I’m facilitating groups creating strategic plans. It doesn’t phase me in the least. But I have more difficulty when it’s my mind that’s on the train, usually trying to will traffic to move, or for time to speed up. My thoughts are headed in one direction, when the truth is, that direction is not where I need to be. Ruminating about things beyond my control is useless, but I can’t always get my thoughts to adjust as quickly as I’d like. This too happened this week, even after I had the Japanese legend in my mind. I went to my rescheduled ‘short’ appointment from Tuesday. I was led into a little room to wait to be seen. Usually, I’m seen within a couple of minutes, then the appointment begins. I’d set aside the same amount of time I usually do. But five minutes passed, then ten, then fifteen. I was reminding myself that the quicker I got off the train telling me I should already be done, the better it would be. Having me fuss about it was not helping. I sat there some more, still not winning over the thoughts in my head. I thought about the Japanese saying. I tried meditating. Then counting. And then I got a message on my watch, ‘It looks like you’re running late for your appointment. Do you need to reschedule?’. Even I had to laugh. They had put me in the room, then forgotten about me. I wandered out to the front desk and gave a little wave.
I suspect the same person who is responsible for the weather might have something to do with helping me learn life lessons.
I love this Japanese legend. I suspect that now that I know it, I’m going to notice plenty of places to practice it. Life is too short to spend time riding on the wrong train.
My inquiry for you this week is, ‘How much will my return trip cost?’
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to learn how to get on the right train.
I realized I was on a train headed in a direction I was no longer going, and the quicker I could get off, and get on the right train, the better off I’d be. This was clearly no longer going to be the day I’d pictured. It was no longer a hiking day, it was no longer a work-day, it was no longer a quick appointment day. Andy didn't need any of those. He doesn't know about workshops and Powerpoints. He knows about Gramma Days. And he needed one. I was able to hop off the train I was on, and catch a very inexpensive train back to the place where I could be fully present for Andy.
We all have a tendency to stay on trains longer than we should. We make plans and have trouble letting them go when circumstances change. We set our sights on a goal, and when the goalposts move, we keep aiming toward our original goal. We make effort after effort with certain people, coming up disappointed time after time. We jump on the latest fad, even when we know it really doesn’t work for us at all. We stay in workplaces, jobs, and relationships that are not longer headed in the direction we want to go. The longer we stay on the wrong train, the more expensive the return trip is.
I find I can hop off trains that resemble cancelled hikes, and planned work-days, fairly easily. I can pivot easily when I’m facilitating groups creating strategic plans. It doesn’t phase me in the least. But I have more difficulty when it’s my mind that’s on the train, usually trying to will traffic to move, or for time to speed up. My thoughts are headed in one direction, when the truth is, that direction is not where I need to be. Ruminating about things beyond my control is useless, but I can’t always get my thoughts to adjust as quickly as I’d like. This too happened this week, even after I had the Japanese legend in my mind. I went to my rescheduled ‘short’ appointment from Tuesday. I was led into a little room to wait to be seen. Usually, I’m seen within a couple of minutes, then the appointment begins. I’d set aside the same amount of time I usually do. But five minutes passed, then ten, then fifteen. I was reminding myself that the quicker I got off the train telling me I should already be done, the better it would be. Having me fuss about it was not helping. I sat there some more, still not winning over the thoughts in my head. I thought about the Japanese saying. I tried meditating. Then counting. And then I got a message on my watch, ‘It looks like you’re running late for your appointment. Do you need to reschedule?’. Even I had to laugh. They had put me in the room, then forgotten about me. I wandered out to the front desk and gave a little wave.
I suspect the same person who is responsible for the weather might have something to do with helping me learn life lessons.
I love this Japanese legend. I suspect that now that I know it, I’m going to notice plenty of places to practice it. Life is too short to spend time riding on the wrong train.
My inquiry for you this week is, ‘How much will my return trip cost?’
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to learn how to get on the right train.
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