This week, I can’t seem to get lip gloss off my mind.  It’s not because I’m particularly in love with it.  I use it when I remember.  But, for me, recently it has become sort of a symbol of a change I need to make in a couple of areas of my life.
 
No, I do not need more lip gloss.
 
However, recently, I did have a wonderful appointment with my friend Carol Thompson.  Carol taught across the hall from me for one year when she was filling in for a maternity leave.  After that, needing to make some money, she attended a meeting about selling Mary Kay Cosmetics.  Flash forward 6 years.  Carol is now an Executive Senior Sales Director at Mary Kay Canada.  I have been following her on FaceBook and I talked to her about a recent ‘push’ she had with her business where she was trying to reach a certain goal.  To do this she had posted that she only needed to sell 473 more lip glosses (or the equivalent) to reach her goal.  I, who had never ever purchased anything from Carol, bought two.  It was so exciting to watch her get closer and closer and I knew that this was a very simple thing that I could do.  Carol easily reached that goal.  Since then, she has earned trips to the UK and to the USA.  And I believe that right now she is only 14 470 lip glosses away from a trip to Rome and Venice.  She’ll do it by the way.  www.marykay.ca/carolt or Facebook.com/caroltmk
 
When Carol and I were talking about our businesses, I told her how that ‘Lip Gloss Push’ had been so effective.  Carol explained that by stating her goal in a way that was very clear, specific and manageable people were more than willing to help.  In general, people do love to be a part of a success story.  I agree.
 
Since my meeting with Carol, I have had this Lip Gloss idea rolling around in my head.  I often need help for projects that I am working on.  I am not afraid to ask for help.  BUT I have never spent the time to really make my ‘ask’ something that is so manageable and so doable and so appreciated that people just want to hop on board. 
 
In my business, I am constantly looking for new clients and for new contacts with businesses that can use my skill set.  I do let people know, in a very general way, that I am doing this.  However, never have I ever said, “I am looking to expand my business by 5 new clients by May, and by 3 new small coaching groups.  Can you please help me by....”  After talking with Carol, I know that by not doing this, I have reduced my chance of achieving my goal.  Her little idea of reducing her goal to something that people can relate to and can help with, works.  Plain and simple.  If you cut up a project into tiny steps, tell people how they can help, and then take those steps one at a time, you will reach your goal.

This concept will work equally as well at home as it will in the work place.  Imagine getting a big family dinner together for a special occasion (Easter anyone?).  What if instead of asking for some help getting ready for the big dinner (too general),  that you instead asked for people to help you with ten, 5-minute blocks of time.  You could easily think of ten little five minute jobs that need doing and that would really help.  Setting the table, peeling potatoes etc. 
 
My hat is off to Carol.  Her business is thriving.  I must say here that a couple of other secrets to her success are her genuine commitment to customer service and her unflagging appreciation of everyone who helps her.  She is not nagging people to help her.  She makes the ask, encourages and then shows appreciation.  It sure seems to be a great combination.
 
A great inquiry for you this week is “What is my Lip Gloss?”

Last week in my blog, I wrote about using the perspective of a hot air balloon ride to help navigate our way around challenges in life.  Perspective is an incredibly powerful coaching tool.   Personally I use it every day, and when I am coaching, it is very rare for me not to incorporate it into a session.  Seeing something from new perspective can be life altering.

This was the case in my life a few years back when a friend of mine, Jen, altered my perspective.  I don’t think that her intent was to change my perspective.  At the time, she was simply being a good friend.  The result however, has been life-changing.
At the time, I had recently founded the Building Hope Society.   The original project was to build a two- classroom addition onto the existing Enkare Ngiro School in Ewaso Ngiro, Kenya.  The project had been complete in January of that year and Jim and I had been invited to go to Kenya to attend the Grand Opening of the classrooms.  As per usual, Jim’s initial response was ‘yes’, whereas I took longer to mull over all of the information.  I really wanted to go.  And I was also nervous.  However, I did know how important this was and that it really was a once in a lifetime chance so I said yes.  And then I immediately got cold feet. (Have I introduced you to my saboteur? – He used to be alive and quite active!)  I talked to Jim about the many good reasons why we should not go.  It was very expensive, we could use that same money toward either some new part of the project or toward something for our own family, I had an elderly, unwell godmother who I was hesitant to leave, I would have to miss some work, we could get sick... My, oh my, I had many very good reasons to stay home.  So we changed our minds, sent our regrets and carried on.

Several weeks later I had an uneasy feeling that I had just missed out on an important opportunity.  This is where Jen comes in.   I worked with Jen and I told her how I was feeling.  Jen had been to Africa and had experienced many of the same feelings.  She listened very thoughtfully, she understood my reasons both for and against going and she did not once try to sway my thinking.  I really appreciated her that day.  The following morning when I arrived at work, upon my desk sat a beautiful photo album; on the front cover, Jen had inserted a lovely photo of an acacia tree (the classic African tree).  I was pretty sure that Jen had left it there based on our conversation from previous day.  I also assumed that she had filled it with beautiful pictures of her trip to Africa with the double intent of both reassuring me that it would be safe to go and giving me a little nudge in that direction. 

I could not have been more wrong.  When I opened the book, it was a completely empty photo album except for one hand written recipe card that Jen had inserted in one of the spots for a picture.  Here is what she had written:
 
Dear Liz,
No matter which memories you choose to fill the pages of this book, never, ever doubt the impact you’ve made and continue to make on this world...
“Leap and the net will appear.”
Love Jen

What struck me square in the face were the words, “which memories you choose to fill the pages of this book”.  Jen had given me a perspective that I had never considered.  It is the perspective that we each have one life to live (one photo album to fill) and we have absolute choice over what we choose to fill our lives with (each photo).  If I wanted to have a picture of me in Africa in my book, then I needed to go to Africa.  It was my choice.  The truth was that I did not so much want a picture of me in Africa in my book of life, as I did want a picture of me being brave.  My decision became very, very easy.  Jim and I arrived in Africa in April of that year.

That photo album sits on the book shelf in my office.  It remains empty of pictures and yet it is full.  It is full of possibility and choice.  I bring it to every workshop I facilitate and I share this story.  I use this photo album idea in my daily life to make decisions.  The question that I ask myself now is, “Do you want a picture of this in your photo album?”  It serves me well as I make decisions about not only what I want to do but also who I want to be.
​
Which memories do you choose to fill the pages of your life’s photo album this week?  Choose well!

.If you read my blog last week, I introduced you to Harold, my fearless entrepreneurial friend.  While I have not spoken to Harold this week, I have had him on my mind.  Harold really planted a seed in my mind, by way of a challenge, for me to use my leadership skills to achieve some of my goals.  I have been mulling this over, and over, and over. 
While I have been thinking about Harold and our conversation, I couldn’t help but wonder if one of the reasons that Harold has been able to be so successful with his vision and execution of his business plan is simply that he started out in a hot air balloon.  Harold piloted hot air balloons, and it was his love of this that led him to what he does today. 

In coaching, one tool that I often use with clients when they have a challenge, when they are stuck, or when they are trying to make change, is to help them see the issue using a different perspective.  Believe it or not, one perspective that often works well is to invite them to ‘get up on the balcony of their life’ or to ‘glide over their life in a hot air balloon’.  When this perspective is used, the minutia of the problem disappears, and the problem or challenge is put into a much larger perspective. 

For example, sometimes in a person’s life, they find themselves in a job that is not as satisfying as they wish it was, or that perhaps it once was.  And yet, with no other apparent job offer in sight, they see no option but to remain where they are.  This idea can also apply to aspects of our lives other than jobs.  For instance we can be dissatisfied with our fitness, with our sense of adventure, with our obligations to our family etc.  Many times, we can identify the dissatisfaction, but we cannot seem to see a solution.  It is not that we do not try to see a solution.  It is simply that we look for a solution through the same lens that we always use.  Typically that means scanning through the rolodex in our minds of ideas that we have already had, and more often than not, we make no change.  The roadblock in front of us just seems too big.

This new tool, of ‘gliding over our life in a hot air balloon’ or ‘getting up on the balcony of our life’ can really change how we see things.  I have a friend, Sheri, who was in exactly this predicament.  She had a very successful job.  It paid well.  The only problem was that she found that it was taking more and more effort for her to get enthusiastic about it.  Privately, she knew that she wanted to make a change.  However, the rolodex in her mind was not showing any immediate job offers!  Initially Sheri decided to keep her job and to try to start up a company, following a long time passion of hers.  It did not take too many years to realize that this was not an ideal solution.  And still the rolodex in her mind, and the contacts on her phone were not turning up any clear cut jobs for her.  The road block in front of her seemed fairly sturdy. 

When I challenged Sheri to get up above her life and have a good look around, here is what she was able to see:
She was easily able to see that if she tried to maintain the status quo she would experience burn out, job dissatisfaction with both ventures, and she would continue with the feeling that she was working all of the time and not spending time with her family.  She felt she needed to give up one or the other.  Looking around from this height, returning to her original job seemed to be most sensible.  However, when she rose higher and could see more, she was able to see what the cost would be of stepping away from the small business she had started.  If she took this step away from her business, she felt that the biggest cost would be regret that she had not been courageous enough to take steps toward her dream. She wanted to teach her children to be brave enough to pursue anything that they wanted and she felt that by walking away, she would not be modeling that.   But the truth was, from this height she could not really see enough clients to make her new business really viable.  So up she rose.  From here, Sheri could get a clear vision.  She was able to see clients that she had never even imagined before.  There were many, many routes around the roadblock that had previously seemed so daunting.  She was able to picture her small business growing and changing.  She was able to see herself as a confident, successful, business owner.  She was able to see herself as someone with courage, a strong work ethic and a big dream.  She could see her children watching her.  And she could see someone that she was very proud of. 
 
From this height it was easy for Sheri to make the decision to step fully into her little business.  Today, her little business, Get It Together (www.gityyc.com) has grown, reshaped and grown some more.  Her clients come from all over.  Most of them are people that she did not know at the beginning of the venture.  They were not on her little rolodex or in her contacts list.
I think that when Harold was a balloon pilot, he too had the amazing opportunity to see his world from high above.  From that vantage point, the ‘big picture’ becomes what is important, and the problems seem like nothing more than details. 
As you are confronted with change in your own life, I invite you to hop aboard for a free hot air balloon ride so that you can get a clear view of whatever your ‘big picture’ is.  Sometimes the farther you get away, the closer the answer appears.
​
Have a great ride this week!

​I had an unexpected coffee date this week with a friend I haven’t heard from in a while.  I taught his children, and I have stayed connected to his family but somehow the last 5 years have flown by and he and I have not had a conversation.   Out of the blue he called this week and asked to meet for coffee.  He had a story to share with me.

The story Harold shared is not mine to tell.  Suffice it to say it involves new life, a miracle (although neither of us could really decide what constitutes a miracle) and a new way of looking at things.  It was a wonderful story to hear.

Harold is a fearless entrepreneur.  I am not.  Harold moves forward with a vision, but without the compulsion for a complete plan, and ‘fills in behind’.  I colour my roadmap before leaving the driveway.  Harold has no patience to wait for data that might give an additional tidbit of proof of a project’s viability.  I am always on the lookout for that one extra piece of data that will guide me.  Don’t get me wrong.  Harold is not careless; he is methodical and he has an incredible trust in the ability of his team and of himself to manage any challenge that might come along.  And I do not have analysis paralysis; I do love to minimize the chance of me committing a ‘false-start’.   But one thing that Harold and I do have in common is that we have both had some of our greatest successes when we were brave enough to take the first step.

I shared with Harold that when I founded the charity, the Building Hope Society, I did not have ONE clue as to how to do this.  (This organization, www.buildinghopesociety.com, raises money to build schools for children in Kenya).  What I did have was a belief that this project was important, and if not me, then who?  So I took a step, and looked around.  And sure enough people appeared who wanted to help, doors opened that I did not even know existed, and success followed like I have never seen.  To date we have built 8 classrooms, we have sent 33 students to high school, one boy has graduated university and I cannot tell you the number of girls who have been spared marriage at a very early age because they are attending school.  In fact, just this week, on Thursday, I found out that two of the students that were first sponsored to go to high school through the Building Hope Society, have just received their final high school exam marks.  The marks were remarkable.  Both are eligible to go to university once funding is secured.  If they get the chance to go, the girl will be the first girl from the village to attend university.  The absolute most remarkable thing for me in all of this is not that all of the above accomplishments have happened, but rather that they happened because I was willing to take one step forward.  And then another.

Harold’s business grew from his love of piloting hot air balloons.  Dynamic Air Shelters (www.dynamicairshelters.com)  has now become a premier solutions-based provider of protective structures around the world.  It includes structures that can be used in harsh environments for everything from field hospitals to crime scenes to fabrication facilities.  Harold’s successes can certainly be attributed to his willingness to fearlessly walk forward, even when there was no sign of a path.  He is a living model of choosing a life both of saying yes, and of being willing to take a step in a direction where he wants to leave a path.

In coaching, I often work with clients who know what they want, or at least they have a sense of what they want in their life.  Often, however, they are stuck.  They can’t seem to figure out how to change things.  They even have very good reasons why things are the way they are.  A great question that I can ask them is, “What is the one step you are willing to take that will most significantly move you toward your goal?”   Most clients soon realize that one step, leads to another and before long they have embarked on their journey.  A key factor here is that the goal aligns with a strong value that they hold.  For me with the Building Hope Project,  it would be the value of believing that education is a door opener and with it, great change can be realized in the world.  In Harold’s business he tapped into his values of adventure, inventiveness, pioneering and hard work.

My coffee date with Harold this week reminded me of why I love coaching.  I simply love being in awe of the power that each of us has when we are willing to take the first step.   I love being a witness to people who discover that the unknown opportunities that await them, when they are willing to take a step forward, are so much better than they could ever have ‘carefully planned’. 

My challenge for you this week is to choose a meaningful, values-aligned goal and then take the time to answer the question “What is the one step you are willing to take that will most significantly move you toward your goal?” .  And after that, of course, take the first step!   I’d love to hear the story of your success.
​
Feel free to contact Elizabeth for personal, leadership or business coaching.