I’ve been covering a lot of ground in the past weeks, seeing the sights of this province with my dear childhood friend, Louanne.  Sometimes I knew where I was going, sometimes we took the scenic route, but always we had plenty of conversation and laughter to sustain us.  To say she’s had a tough year is the understatement of understatements.  The personal loss she has endured is beyond what most of us could brave.  It’s hard to imagine her putting one foot in front of the other, never mind navigating the road ahead.

We had no trouble filling our time together.  We visited the wild horses near Sundre, watched a wonderful play in little Rosebud, lunched at the Banff Springs Hotel, hiked to see Mountain Bluebirds, flew kites with Ben, Andy and our dear friend Shirley, cheered on Greg in a road race, visited Spruce Meadows, ate, drank and played cards by the hour.  It was a wonderful time to just be together.

As we drove home after one of our excursions, we were watching for the correct exit to leave the main highway.  At the time we were talking about not only the preciousness and uncertainty of life, but about making the most of the years we have left.  Louanne and I were born the same year.  Our parents were best friends, and so our families were tightly connected in friendship and love.  She is one of the few people who knew me first. There is no backstory explaining needed with her.  We just understand one another.  We know what things shaped us into who we have become, we understand each others deepest values, and our relationship is one of support.  While we live in different parts of the country, we are very lucky to still have one another in our lives.  We both know we want to treasure our healthy years and be able to look back and know we used them in ways that fulfilled us and not left us wishing, ‘If only ….’.  This is very likely what led to us noticing the exits passing by on the highway.

We were remarking about how fast the seasons pass by when we passed an exit off-ramp leading from the highway.  No sooner had we seen it than we were past.  ‘And there it goes’, I said to Lou. ‘Another year, just like that’.  And a minute later, ‘There goes another one.’

We were quiet then, for we knew it was true.

Each of us is travelling pretty much at top speed through our lives.  We need to be, sometimes just to get by, but also so we can accomplish everything we hope to, and to fit in all we want to.  The danger of living at this speed is that the exits fly past us so quickly we sometimes don’t even see the signs, never mind being able to signal, get into the right lane and safely turn off.  And just like that, another opportunity, or even year, passes us right by. 

I wish I could say we solved the mystery to this in our time together.  I wish we knew exactly how to slow down life, and to make sure we are doing the things that really matter to us.  I wish those highway exits had really large signs, with flashing lights, that said things like, ‘SLOW DOWN.  DO NOT SKIP PAST THIS.  TAKE TIME TO DRIVE THIS ROAD AND ENJOY WHAT IT HAS TO OFFER.  YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS!’

I have been working on living like this for the past number of years.  Perhaps I’ve always had a bit of it in me.  I think one of the secrets of not living with regret is remembering we have two hands to hold things in.  In one, we hold all the things we have to do.  In this hand we hold the demands of our job, the things we need to do to keep our home running smoothly, our list of chores, our appointments, duties, obligations, and responsibilities.  This hand is closed tightly around all our ‘must dos’ holding on dearly so as to not drop anything.  Sometimes this hand gets so full we make the mistake of using our other hand to help us carry the load.  I have been known to be guilty of this.

This is our mistake, for our other hand is meant to be used for balance.  It we should fill with the things we want to do to help us become who we strive to be.  In this hand we should have a bigger view of life.  This hand should be opened upward, ready to receive the best things in life, reminding us to stop picking up things with our other hand, and instead to take a breath and ask ourselves this, ‘If this is my only chance view this beautiful sight, to play with this child, to have a conversation, to renew my body, to celebrate a milestone, to talk to my sister, to dance with my friends, to climb a mountain, to paddle a river, to hug my children, I don’t want to miss it.’  This hand points us to those off-ramps.  It prompts us to put life into our living. 

I’m in a very busy season of life, both personally and professionally.  My hand that holds all my responsibilities is very full.  But I’m finally at the place where I am ok just holding that full hand while I follow some of the off-ramps leading me away from the busy highway of life.  I’m even ok if a few things fall out of my full hand.  I would not, however, be ok if another year flew by without me spending time doing things that fill me with joy, with the people who fill my heart. 

Take some time this week to explore one of the off-ramps on your highway of life. 

My inquiry for you this week is, ‘Highway or off-ramp?’
​
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching.  She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society.   She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching.  She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to learn how navigate the off-ramps of life. 

There’s a new kind of Goldfish cracker in town.  This one comes in a slightly different package and is made by the same company as the traditional Goldfish crackers, but it’s called a Goldfish Crisp.  Now that I think about it, it’s likely a glorified chip, and likely I shouldn’t have been snacking on them every night for the past week.  I’m going to try to put that out of my head.  

I bought some to try with our little grandjoys and the verdict was overwhelmingly positive.  They loved them, which was great, until I couldn’t find them anymore in any grocery store.  I checked three different kinds of stores with no luck.  Finally, last week I came across them where I was shopping, and I picked up two packages.

When the boys came for their Gramma Day, I asked if they would like some for their car snack.  Ben was thrilled I had found them.  I told him about the trouble I’d had searching for them.  He then surprised me by saying, ‘I think you should go back and buy more bags’.  When I asked what he was thinking, he said that if we (people) buy lots of bags of them, then the store will know people like them, and they will get more for their shelves.  But if no one buys them, they won’t order more.  ‘That’s how it works Gramma’.  Then, just to drive his point home, he explained that this was like the car industry.  ‘Remember the Datsun, Gramma?  Not many people bought it, and now it isn’t made anymore.’

Ah.

Point well taken.

I told Kaitlyn about his wonderful logical thinking later in the week and she said, ‘Wow.  Supply and Demand! I teach this in my Grade Nine Social Studies class and even some of those students struggle to understand it.’  Ben apparently has no trouble with this concept!

Most of us can grasp the idea that if a product or service isn’t popular, or isn’t purchased enough, it will prove unprofitable to keep manufacturing or to be offered.  It makes common sense.  If I make a type of dessert that no one eats, I’m likely not going to keep making it. 

As usual, once I have an idea in my mind, it rolls around there as I go about my business.  So, this week I was watching for places where supply and demand impact not our world of capitalism, but rather our more personal worlds.

Each of us have qualities or attributes (supply) we offer to the people in our worlds.  We have skills and talent, time and energy, understanding and generosity.  Some of us have a supply of logic, some a supply of forgiveness, some of hard work, some of excitement, some of spontaneity, some of common sense, some of reason and some of whimsy.  On the darker side some people have a large supply of anger, jealousy, laziness, dishonesty, and meanness.  Mostly, these latter ones are not things in high demand. 

Demand is a slightly harder concept to wrap our heads around.  When we think of a demand being made, it feels off-putting, as if we have no choice in the matter, as if someone is ordering us to do something.  But in the case of supply and demand, demand simply refers to something we desire, or yearn for, or need, or want.  ‘There is a real demand for construction workers’ is just a way of saying that construction workers are needed and welcome.  If there is no demand for Datsuns, it means that no one is yearning for one, no one wants to buy one.  It might mean they have moved on to shinier objects.

Sometimes it is our ‘stuff’ that is in demand.  We may have a supply of tools in our garage, a truck for hauling, or even, as in my case this year, sugar.  When there was a strike at the sugar factory in British Columbia before Christmas, Jim made sure I would not run out – nor would anyone in our family, or on our street, or entire neighbourhood for that matter.  I have enough supply for years!

Sometimes it is the less tangible things that are in demand and each of us hopes that when we need something from others support, friendship, teamwork, motivation, encouragement, extra hands, help planning, (demand), they will have enough in their supply to help us out.

Supply and demand work incredibly well in microeconomics.  When supply falls and demand increases, so do prices.  When supply increases and demand falls, so do prices.  In human interactions, things get more complex, and some could argue that the stakes are even higher.

We all know of someone, who was once in high demand in their line of work or their life, and who, as they aged, simply became less significant.  In those cases, the cost of the loss to the workplace or to others is often far less than the cost to that individual.  We also know of people who give and give, seemingly with an endless supply of energy and love, who inevitably get weary. 

As human beings it is natural to have demands; wants, yearnings, needs and wishes.  It’s natural to look to others to provide us with our supply.  It might be time for us to look at part what part we can play in adding to the supply, in appreciating others, in helping out, in providing acknowledgement, and in offering rest.  It might also be worth looking at what we demand, noticing when and where we place our demands, and seeking ways to replenish those we lean on.

Everyone of us has value.  Every one of us wants to be appreciated for what we bring to the table.  And every one of us has the ability to find value in others.  All of us want to be the new Goldfish Crisp, none want to be the Datsun.  I’m not suggesting we all run off to the store to replenish our snack supply, but perhaps if we have an old Datsun in our life, we could take a minute to dust her off and show her some love.

My inquiry for you this week is, ‘How is supply and demand working for me today?’
​
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching.  She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society.   She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching.  She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to learn the intricacies of supply and demand.