Jim and I have put several thousand kilometres on our odometer these past few weeks. We’ve attended several Celebrations of Life, both in neighbouring Saskatchewan and British Columbia. On each of our weekends away, we decided to make a little trip out of it, stopping to see some of the beauty of our country along the way; the golden fields stretching for miles on the prairie, and the spawning salmon and fruit laden orchards in the Okanogan Valley.
We travelled in glorious sunshine, through a windstorm, along roads lined with the reds, oranges and yellows of fall, in pouring rain, and through our first snow storm of the season.
As always, whenever we travel, I observe other drivers. Some slow and steady, some clearly on their way to perform cardiac surgery, some attentive and others not so much.
I especially notice driving behaviour at intersections, as some drivers pretend not to notice the orange light, sneaking through as it turns red, and some who seem to take forever to move forward, even after the light is clearly green. Jim’s voice is often in my head with these ones as he sometimes mutters, ‘It’s not getting any greener buddy.’
When Ben and Andy are with me, we often play a little game when we’re waiting at the red light. Because it can be hard to wait patiently when going to the zoo or to some other wonderful location, I’ll often say, ‘We need some magic!’ That’s the signal for us to say, altogether, “Abracadabra, light turn green!” Unbeknownst to the boys, I cheat at this game. I covertly watch the light for the cross traffic, paying attention to the walk signal counting down. When the signal stops flashing, I know I have just enough time to suggest our game, and for us to perform our magic trick before the light will change.
Our success rate is high.
This week however, I did not have the boys with me when I came to a stop at a red light. I was behind one other driver, a woman in an SUV. When the light turned green, she did not enter the intersection. It was not that she was glancing left, then right, as I often do, to insure no driver is trying to sneak through the cross light (I can only assume heading somewhere to do cardiac surgery). Rather she seemed very interested in a device she was holding in her hand, and she didn’t notice the light had changed.
Within a few seconds her peripheral vision must have picked up on movement around her because she dropped her device and drove forward, me following.
It was a non-event really. It happens many, many times daily in every city and town in this country. Lights turn green and people don’t notice the signal to move toward their destination.
The same thing happens in other parts of our life.
So often we want to move forward in our daily life. We wait for a signal to let us know it’s the right time. Perhaps we want to be noticed for a promotion at work. Maybe we hope to be invited to join a particular group. Sometimes we might hope to be tapped on the shoulder to share one of our many talents with others. We could be waiting patiently for someone else to give us a signal they are interested in our friendship, or perhaps are ready to hear our apology. We might be hoping for a solo, or even to be invited to prepare our favourite dessert. We might even wish to just be noticed, to feel significant, of importance in someone’s life. Often, someone else wishes this for us too, but so often we miss the signal.
It would be so much simpler if there were subtle little stoplights all around us, with signs on them, so we’d clearly see when it was safe to move toward our goal. The truth is, often there are very clear signals being sent to us, but we are so distracted with other little things in life, we don’t notice the subtle invitations.
We are so busy with the importance of clearing out our inbox, we don’t notice the colleague waiting at our office door, looking as if they have something to say. We are so busy talking, we don’t realize someone else is waiting for their turn, perhaps to tell us something important. We are so busy getting things crossed off our to do list, we miss the subtle hint that if we were to show the slightest interest, we could be invited to join a hiking group, a leadership think tank, a travel club, a basketball league, or a musical group. We miss the smile, inviting us to join the group. Sometimes we even miss the worried look, wishing we’d take a moment to ask how things are going.
Unfortunately, often the invitation doesn’t last as long as our distraction does, and once we look up hoping to see a sign, the sign is gone, and we believe we should continue to wait. We continue to hope for some signal that our small dream might be within reach. We think the signal should look a particular way, when in fact signals come in so many subtle forms.
A lot of life can get missed.
I’ve missed out on some invitations that have come my way. I have been so wrapped up with my own busyness that I’ve been passed over for an opportunity, mostly because I haven’t seemed interested. The truth was, I was interested, but I missed the signal. I’ve fussed over having the perfect meal ready rather than stopping for a good conversation and then wondered why everyone else had become more connected and I had become more tired.
Luckily for me, I’ve got plenty of years under my belt, and I’m learning to sit up and take notice of the smallest signals. When Andy asks if I’d like to build a train track with him, I understand it’s a clear, bright green light for a possible path forward toward a strong relationship with him down the road. The same thing is true when Ben invites me to build a Lego or attend a school event. If I were to say no, each time did so, I would be lessening the chance for another invitation. No one likes to be rejected, and not many people will come back time after time, only to find out I’m still too busy. I always say yes to these little guys.
When I hear myself say once too often to a friend that it’s been too long since we’ve gotten together, and they agree, the light is less bright, but it’s still green, and I do my best to figure out a way to not let many more days pass until we figure out how to connect.
We can’t say yes to every single signal presented to us, but we certainly can begin to notice lights when they turn green and take the chance to move forward toward opportunity. The price for not doing so is high.
This week, I invite you to notice a signal being given to you.
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to begin to notice the light when it turns green.
We travelled in glorious sunshine, through a windstorm, along roads lined with the reds, oranges and yellows of fall, in pouring rain, and through our first snow storm of the season.
As always, whenever we travel, I observe other drivers. Some slow and steady, some clearly on their way to perform cardiac surgery, some attentive and others not so much.
I especially notice driving behaviour at intersections, as some drivers pretend not to notice the orange light, sneaking through as it turns red, and some who seem to take forever to move forward, even after the light is clearly green. Jim’s voice is often in my head with these ones as he sometimes mutters, ‘It’s not getting any greener buddy.’
When Ben and Andy are with me, we often play a little game when we’re waiting at the red light. Because it can be hard to wait patiently when going to the zoo or to some other wonderful location, I’ll often say, ‘We need some magic!’ That’s the signal for us to say, altogether, “Abracadabra, light turn green!” Unbeknownst to the boys, I cheat at this game. I covertly watch the light for the cross traffic, paying attention to the walk signal counting down. When the signal stops flashing, I know I have just enough time to suggest our game, and for us to perform our magic trick before the light will change.
Our success rate is high.
This week however, I did not have the boys with me when I came to a stop at a red light. I was behind one other driver, a woman in an SUV. When the light turned green, she did not enter the intersection. It was not that she was glancing left, then right, as I often do, to insure no driver is trying to sneak through the cross light (I can only assume heading somewhere to do cardiac surgery). Rather she seemed very interested in a device she was holding in her hand, and she didn’t notice the light had changed.
Within a few seconds her peripheral vision must have picked up on movement around her because she dropped her device and drove forward, me following.
It was a non-event really. It happens many, many times daily in every city and town in this country. Lights turn green and people don’t notice the signal to move toward their destination.
The same thing happens in other parts of our life.
So often we want to move forward in our daily life. We wait for a signal to let us know it’s the right time. Perhaps we want to be noticed for a promotion at work. Maybe we hope to be invited to join a particular group. Sometimes we might hope to be tapped on the shoulder to share one of our many talents with others. We could be waiting patiently for someone else to give us a signal they are interested in our friendship, or perhaps are ready to hear our apology. We might be hoping for a solo, or even to be invited to prepare our favourite dessert. We might even wish to just be noticed, to feel significant, of importance in someone’s life. Often, someone else wishes this for us too, but so often we miss the signal.
It would be so much simpler if there were subtle little stoplights all around us, with signs on them, so we’d clearly see when it was safe to move toward our goal. The truth is, often there are very clear signals being sent to us, but we are so distracted with other little things in life, we don’t notice the subtle invitations.
We are so busy with the importance of clearing out our inbox, we don’t notice the colleague waiting at our office door, looking as if they have something to say. We are so busy talking, we don’t realize someone else is waiting for their turn, perhaps to tell us something important. We are so busy getting things crossed off our to do list, we miss the subtle hint that if we were to show the slightest interest, we could be invited to join a hiking group, a leadership think tank, a travel club, a basketball league, or a musical group. We miss the smile, inviting us to join the group. Sometimes we even miss the worried look, wishing we’d take a moment to ask how things are going.
Unfortunately, often the invitation doesn’t last as long as our distraction does, and once we look up hoping to see a sign, the sign is gone, and we believe we should continue to wait. We continue to hope for some signal that our small dream might be within reach. We think the signal should look a particular way, when in fact signals come in so many subtle forms.
A lot of life can get missed.
I’ve missed out on some invitations that have come my way. I have been so wrapped up with my own busyness that I’ve been passed over for an opportunity, mostly because I haven’t seemed interested. The truth was, I was interested, but I missed the signal. I’ve fussed over having the perfect meal ready rather than stopping for a good conversation and then wondered why everyone else had become more connected and I had become more tired.
Luckily for me, I’ve got plenty of years under my belt, and I’m learning to sit up and take notice of the smallest signals. When Andy asks if I’d like to build a train track with him, I understand it’s a clear, bright green light for a possible path forward toward a strong relationship with him down the road. The same thing is true when Ben invites me to build a Lego or attend a school event. If I were to say no, each time did so, I would be lessening the chance for another invitation. No one likes to be rejected, and not many people will come back time after time, only to find out I’m still too busy. I always say yes to these little guys.
When I hear myself say once too often to a friend that it’s been too long since we’ve gotten together, and they agree, the light is less bright, but it’s still green, and I do my best to figure out a way to not let many more days pass until we figure out how to connect.
We can’t say yes to every single signal presented to us, but we certainly can begin to notice lights when they turn green and take the chance to move forward toward opportunity. The price for not doing so is high.
This week, I invite you to notice a signal being given to you.
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to begin to notice the light when it turns green.
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