When Ben was turning one, Jim made him a wooden growth chart. It was in the shape of a giraffe. Every year on his birthday, and sometimes in between, his mom has him stand, back to the ruler, and she makes a mark with his height. Then they print his age and the date so there will be a record of his growth. When Andy was born, they started using the growth giraffe for him too.
I’ve seen homes where growth is marked right on a wall. We did this for our kids. The corner of our kitchen that led to the main hall had some penciled in heights and dates for each child. I always wished ours had been portable, because when it was time to sell our acreage home, those little markers of growth stayed behind.
Kids are so delighted when they grow. It’s as though they stand a little taller, and feel just a bit more grown up, more mature, when they see they are making progress. For kids in this family, they love to tell others that they have grown. I think it gives them a great sense of accomplishment, even though, if truth be told, they really didn’t have to do anything except wait. The growing kind of happens whether they are trying hard or not. Time passes, and eventually there is growth.
I can’t remember when we stopped measuring. Certainly, it was long before we moved. We didn’t move until they had finished university and had established lives for themselves. I’m guessing it was around the time when they became teenagers, but I can’t be sure.
So, I’m wondering this. If Ben and Andy grow every six months or so, without any deliberate effort on their part, and if at my last check up I found I had shrunk one-half inch with absolutely no effort on my part, is it possible that each of us, is continually growing, or shrinking, without any deliberate effort. I think it is. However, our growth is not usually in height.
Have we grown to be more, or less, tolerant. More, or less, opinionated. Have we grown in kindness, or wisdom? Or have we gained or lost some skills?
If we were to record our growth, we could think of the ways we show up in the world; ways we show up without thinking about them too much at all. In the last six months have I grown to be more or less tolerant? Have I grown in kindness? Have I grown in wisdom? Have I grown in some skill?
A lot of life passes us by without us living with much intention. The truth is, we don’t often take the time to be intentional. Yet the days pass, the interactions with others occur, and we grow, or shrink, one way or the other. Some of it is completely out of our control. No amount of willpower would have been enough for Ben or Andy to add an inch to their chart, nor would it have prevented me from losing my half-inch.
But in many other areas of my life, whether we grow or shrink, expand or retreat, broaden or minimize, all depend on us.
Most of us can think of someone, perhaps a colleague, friend, or family member, we haven’t seen in some time. Upon meeting them again, we first notice the obvious changes: your glasses are new, you’ve grown your hair, you’ve moved. We don’t have to get too far into a conversation before we notice other changes too. They may have grown to have more compassion, a more open-mind, new interests, or a positive outlook. They may exhibit signs of bravery or confidence. On the other hand they may have grown insensitive, outspoken, cynical, or afraid. Either way, some kind of growth has occurred, most often without much effort or deliberate action on our part.
Many of us bumble our way through life. We do what we do without much introspection. If a situation unfolds right in front of us where we can help someone, we often do so without much thought. If our peer group is sitting and complaining, we will pull up a chair and join in, without a second thought about the notch it will create on our growth chart.
If Jim were to make me a growth chart, I’d ask for one shaped like a mountain. It wouldn’t have a constant slope, but rather it would climb, and level off to little ledges where I could reflect and record my growth. It’s almost impossible to notice growth while we’re climbing, but from the vantage point of a rest point on the side of a mountain, the big picture of life is easier to see.
I want to continue growing in positive ways for the rest of my life. I know people who are proud to have reached a certain age, an age where they proudly claim they have ‘earned the right’ to be stuck in their thoughts, opinions, and actions. They no longer believe they need to make the effort to use kind words, to show interest in new things or new ideas. They likely don’t want a growth chart. But I like to think I’d use mine for years to come.
Last week I didn’t write a blog post. We’d have a few sleepovers with the boys, and an extra bonus visit too. I had appointments, and plenty of ‘work work’. For each of these things I stayed fully in the moment, enjoying each one. Normally, I’d have stayed up late, or risen very early to make sure I had written my blog. But I was tired, and I granted myself some grace.
I sure wish I had a growth chart. I think I might have earned a little notch of wisdom.
My inquiry for you this week is ‘What notch am I placing on my growth chart today?’
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to begin making notches of growth on your chart.
I’ve seen homes where growth is marked right on a wall. We did this for our kids. The corner of our kitchen that led to the main hall had some penciled in heights and dates for each child. I always wished ours had been portable, because when it was time to sell our acreage home, those little markers of growth stayed behind.
Kids are so delighted when they grow. It’s as though they stand a little taller, and feel just a bit more grown up, more mature, when they see they are making progress. For kids in this family, they love to tell others that they have grown. I think it gives them a great sense of accomplishment, even though, if truth be told, they really didn’t have to do anything except wait. The growing kind of happens whether they are trying hard or not. Time passes, and eventually there is growth.
I can’t remember when we stopped measuring. Certainly, it was long before we moved. We didn’t move until they had finished university and had established lives for themselves. I’m guessing it was around the time when they became teenagers, but I can’t be sure.
So, I’m wondering this. If Ben and Andy grow every six months or so, without any deliberate effort on their part, and if at my last check up I found I had shrunk one-half inch with absolutely no effort on my part, is it possible that each of us, is continually growing, or shrinking, without any deliberate effort. I think it is. However, our growth is not usually in height.
Have we grown to be more, or less, tolerant. More, or less, opinionated. Have we grown in kindness, or wisdom? Or have we gained or lost some skills?
If we were to record our growth, we could think of the ways we show up in the world; ways we show up without thinking about them too much at all. In the last six months have I grown to be more or less tolerant? Have I grown in kindness? Have I grown in wisdom? Have I grown in some skill?
A lot of life passes us by without us living with much intention. The truth is, we don’t often take the time to be intentional. Yet the days pass, the interactions with others occur, and we grow, or shrink, one way or the other. Some of it is completely out of our control. No amount of willpower would have been enough for Ben or Andy to add an inch to their chart, nor would it have prevented me from losing my half-inch.
But in many other areas of my life, whether we grow or shrink, expand or retreat, broaden or minimize, all depend on us.
Most of us can think of someone, perhaps a colleague, friend, or family member, we haven’t seen in some time. Upon meeting them again, we first notice the obvious changes: your glasses are new, you’ve grown your hair, you’ve moved. We don’t have to get too far into a conversation before we notice other changes too. They may have grown to have more compassion, a more open-mind, new interests, or a positive outlook. They may exhibit signs of bravery or confidence. On the other hand they may have grown insensitive, outspoken, cynical, or afraid. Either way, some kind of growth has occurred, most often without much effort or deliberate action on our part.
Many of us bumble our way through life. We do what we do without much introspection. If a situation unfolds right in front of us where we can help someone, we often do so without much thought. If our peer group is sitting and complaining, we will pull up a chair and join in, without a second thought about the notch it will create on our growth chart.
If Jim were to make me a growth chart, I’d ask for one shaped like a mountain. It wouldn’t have a constant slope, but rather it would climb, and level off to little ledges where I could reflect and record my growth. It’s almost impossible to notice growth while we’re climbing, but from the vantage point of a rest point on the side of a mountain, the big picture of life is easier to see.
I want to continue growing in positive ways for the rest of my life. I know people who are proud to have reached a certain age, an age where they proudly claim they have ‘earned the right’ to be stuck in their thoughts, opinions, and actions. They no longer believe they need to make the effort to use kind words, to show interest in new things or new ideas. They likely don’t want a growth chart. But I like to think I’d use mine for years to come.
Last week I didn’t write a blog post. We’d have a few sleepovers with the boys, and an extra bonus visit too. I had appointments, and plenty of ‘work work’. For each of these things I stayed fully in the moment, enjoying each one. Normally, I’d have stayed up late, or risen very early to make sure I had written my blog. But I was tired, and I granted myself some grace.
I sure wish I had a growth chart. I think I might have earned a little notch of wisdom.
My inquiry for you this week is ‘What notch am I placing on my growth chart today?’
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to begin making notches of growth on your chart.
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