I was thinking about my dad this past week. I’d been doing something, and my mind had wondered. Suddenly I smiled as I heard Dad’s voice in my ear, “Hey, who’s steering this ship?” This was his teasing expression used to either keep us on task, or to let us learn to laugh at our own mistakes. I think of this often, and notice I’ve started to use the same expression, or a version of it, in my own life. Sometimes I use it just in my head, sometimes it comes out of my mouth, most recently with Ben.
We were lucky enough to be able to spend last Friday, a school Professional Development Day, with both Ben and Andy. Usually Fridays are reserved for only Andy as Ben is now in school full time. Last Friday, when we had both boys, we had a very cold, and unusually damp day. We’d spent most of the morning indoors, and I was thinking about a way to get us outside for some fresh air. I had a prescription to pick up at the corner pharmacy, so I lured them outside with the promise of us taking our little toy Mini Cooper along. Ben was to ride in it on the way there, and Andy on the way home. Normally, Andy loves to push Ben, but with the cold, it didn't take long before he offered that I could push instead. The car has a steering wheel in it and also a handle that the pusher can use if the driver forgets to steer. Ben loves to steer and he’s good at it. I noticed however that we were often heading toward the road. ‘Hey, who’s steering this car?’ I laughingly asked. “Well, I’m trying to”, he said “But you keep steering too.”
True.
Later in the day he asked if we could watch the movie, Inside Out 2, together. It’s very rare that the boys watch television at our house. We work hard to make sure Gramma days are filled with activities and time together. But this was a cold day, Andy was sleeping, and Ben was exhausted from the Halloween festivities of the night before, so I said we could at least start the movie and watch some of it.
If you haven’t seen it, you should. It’s brilliant.
It’s a sequel to Inside Out, where the viewer is introduced to Riley, a young 11-year-old girl who adapts to her family’s move from Minnesota to San Fransisco. We follow the inner workings of her mind as five personified emotions, Fear, Anger, Disgust, Joy and Sadness, administer her thoughts and actions.
In Inside Out 2, a new element of her brain, Sense of Self, is developed as puberty arrives. Sense of Self brings the new and difficult emotions of Anxiety, Envy, Ennui, and Embarrassment. The creators of this movie brilliantly allow us to watch how Riley’s behaviour and feelings change as each of her emotions ‘steer the ship’.
I often forget kids’ movies as soon as they are over. Inside Out 2 has stuck with me. How often do we find ourselves in situations where we think, or someone might say, “What we need here is a bit of compassion (or tolerance, empathy, deep understanding, love, integrity, loyalty, connection, joy)”. But often when we say it, we say it as though someone or something outside of us might magically sprinkle some upon us and our situation. What Inside Out 2 asks us to see is that these things are not outside of us. They are inside us, and we have complete control over which emotion, or attribute we chose to bring forth; which one we choose to let steer our ship.
I’ve been asking myself a version of a very simple question off and on this week.
If I let her steer my ship, what would Love do?
When I ask this, I am not asking how a bit of love might help me. If this were all I was asking, I’d be running the risk of overriding its suggestions, perhaps with stubbornness, or anger, or fear, or intolerance. Rather I am asking myself to call forth Love. I can picture my brain sending a message to all the small members of my ship, requesting that Love come to the wheelhouse and steer the ship. I’m not asking Love to simply come up to the wheelhouse to give me some possible suggestions, I’m asking her to steer.
What would Love do?
Love, of course, can be replaced with whatever emotion might be needed for the situation at hand. But for me, Love has popped up more than the others. When Love is steering, she tends to bring along Integrity, and often Joy. When I ask ‘What would Love do?’, it’s my cue to remember that I am in charge of how I show up in my world.
In Inside Out 2, Riley can be forgiven for having her ship members override her brain seemingly randomly, without her consent. She is, after all, a new teenager, and her mechanism for calling forth the appropriate crew members has not been completely installed. Most of us though, cannot claim this for our excuse. Our mechanism is fully installed and we, and we alone, have the owner’s manual. We each have a full crew below deck, waiting for us to ask them to steer. Each of them has the ability to get up to the wheelhouse quickly. However, I’m noticing, the more we call upon certain ones, the more they practice getting up on deck quickly, and the easier it is for them to take charge of our ship.
I’m trying to be very intentional about who I give permission to steer my ship.
This week, we will mark Remembrance Day. I suspect those young soldiers who fought for our freedom had to work hard to choose who was steering their ship as they face the battleground of war. Courage, Self-Sacrifice, Integrity, Strength of Character, Selflessness and Commitment would have all been called forth. I am grateful for their sacrifice.
This week, I encourage you to notice who is steering your ship. It’s a privilege to live in a country where, because our safety and freedom have been secured by brave men and women, we have the luxury of focusing on how we wish to live in this peaceful land we sometimes take for granted. I’d like to make sure my contribution is not a thoughtless one, but one that I intentionally choose to add value to my relationships, my community, my country and my world. I want to carefully choose who is steering my ship.
My inquiry for your this week is, “Who is steering my ship?’
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to learn how to intentionally steer your ship.
We were lucky enough to be able to spend last Friday, a school Professional Development Day, with both Ben and Andy. Usually Fridays are reserved for only Andy as Ben is now in school full time. Last Friday, when we had both boys, we had a very cold, and unusually damp day. We’d spent most of the morning indoors, and I was thinking about a way to get us outside for some fresh air. I had a prescription to pick up at the corner pharmacy, so I lured them outside with the promise of us taking our little toy Mini Cooper along. Ben was to ride in it on the way there, and Andy on the way home. Normally, Andy loves to push Ben, but with the cold, it didn't take long before he offered that I could push instead. The car has a steering wheel in it and also a handle that the pusher can use if the driver forgets to steer. Ben loves to steer and he’s good at it. I noticed however that we were often heading toward the road. ‘Hey, who’s steering this car?’ I laughingly asked. “Well, I’m trying to”, he said “But you keep steering too.”
True.
Later in the day he asked if we could watch the movie, Inside Out 2, together. It’s very rare that the boys watch television at our house. We work hard to make sure Gramma days are filled with activities and time together. But this was a cold day, Andy was sleeping, and Ben was exhausted from the Halloween festivities of the night before, so I said we could at least start the movie and watch some of it.
If you haven’t seen it, you should. It’s brilliant.
It’s a sequel to Inside Out, where the viewer is introduced to Riley, a young 11-year-old girl who adapts to her family’s move from Minnesota to San Fransisco. We follow the inner workings of her mind as five personified emotions, Fear, Anger, Disgust, Joy and Sadness, administer her thoughts and actions.
In Inside Out 2, a new element of her brain, Sense of Self, is developed as puberty arrives. Sense of Self brings the new and difficult emotions of Anxiety, Envy, Ennui, and Embarrassment. The creators of this movie brilliantly allow us to watch how Riley’s behaviour and feelings change as each of her emotions ‘steer the ship’.
I often forget kids’ movies as soon as they are over. Inside Out 2 has stuck with me. How often do we find ourselves in situations where we think, or someone might say, “What we need here is a bit of compassion (or tolerance, empathy, deep understanding, love, integrity, loyalty, connection, joy)”. But often when we say it, we say it as though someone or something outside of us might magically sprinkle some upon us and our situation. What Inside Out 2 asks us to see is that these things are not outside of us. They are inside us, and we have complete control over which emotion, or attribute we chose to bring forth; which one we choose to let steer our ship.
I’ve been asking myself a version of a very simple question off and on this week.
If I let her steer my ship, what would Love do?
When I ask this, I am not asking how a bit of love might help me. If this were all I was asking, I’d be running the risk of overriding its suggestions, perhaps with stubbornness, or anger, or fear, or intolerance. Rather I am asking myself to call forth Love. I can picture my brain sending a message to all the small members of my ship, requesting that Love come to the wheelhouse and steer the ship. I’m not asking Love to simply come up to the wheelhouse to give me some possible suggestions, I’m asking her to steer.
What would Love do?
Love, of course, can be replaced with whatever emotion might be needed for the situation at hand. But for me, Love has popped up more than the others. When Love is steering, she tends to bring along Integrity, and often Joy. When I ask ‘What would Love do?’, it’s my cue to remember that I am in charge of how I show up in my world.
In Inside Out 2, Riley can be forgiven for having her ship members override her brain seemingly randomly, without her consent. She is, after all, a new teenager, and her mechanism for calling forth the appropriate crew members has not been completely installed. Most of us though, cannot claim this for our excuse. Our mechanism is fully installed and we, and we alone, have the owner’s manual. We each have a full crew below deck, waiting for us to ask them to steer. Each of them has the ability to get up to the wheelhouse quickly. However, I’m noticing, the more we call upon certain ones, the more they practice getting up on deck quickly, and the easier it is for them to take charge of our ship.
I’m trying to be very intentional about who I give permission to steer my ship.
This week, we will mark Remembrance Day. I suspect those young soldiers who fought for our freedom had to work hard to choose who was steering their ship as they face the battleground of war. Courage, Self-Sacrifice, Integrity, Strength of Character, Selflessness and Commitment would have all been called forth. I am grateful for their sacrifice.
This week, I encourage you to notice who is steering your ship. It’s a privilege to live in a country where, because our safety and freedom have been secured by brave men and women, we have the luxury of focusing on how we wish to live in this peaceful land we sometimes take for granted. I’d like to make sure my contribution is not a thoughtless one, but one that I intentionally choose to add value to my relationships, my community, my country and my world. I want to carefully choose who is steering my ship.
My inquiry for your this week is, “Who is steering my ship?’
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to learn how to intentionally steer your ship.
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