The first is that I received a text from my one of my sisters, who was with us the week of the wedding. Her husband, who has early onset Alzheimer’s, was also with us. We had a fabulous time together both at the wedding and during the week after when my siblings and our significant others spent some very rare time together. My sister’s text this week said that her husband has remembered an astonishing amount about the week we spent together. He said to my sister, ‘I am so happy that I can remember it. I hope I can remember it forever’. He talks about it each day.
The second is that I talked to a friend this week who has become a foster parent for the first time. The young child that they have welcomed into their home has been through more in her little lifetime than many people 20 times her age have been. Think leukemia, crack houses and cocaine. My friend and her husband are keeping her until she can be reunited with her family. Meanwhile they are hoping to give her some memories of what a different life can be like. If she can see something different, then maybe she can create something different when she is old enough to have some control over her own destiny.
The third is that Kaitlyn and Matt came home from their honeymoon in Ireland. They had a fantastic time. After recovering from their delayed flight for a day they headed out on a road trip to Winnipeg to see the Friday night concert of The Tragically Hip. There is no doubt that this final tour of The Tragically Hip is special. This band is not only celebrating their talents with the world, they are also celebrating their memories and their time left together as a band.
In my mind, these three things, a family visit, a foster child and a rock concert by The Tragically Hip at first do not seem connected. The link that I find with them is that they each tell the story of a special memory. In the case of each, the people involved are very aware that they are trying to create memories that will last longer than the moment. In each case, the planning to create the memories is conscious. In each case, there is a deep caring involved and a reverence around the idea of trying to make the memories cherished ones.
It is impossible to live our lives so vigilantly that we are creating Hallmark memories every day. I suspect that we forget many, many more days than we remember. But each day, we do have the possibility that something that we might say or do will become a fixed memory for either ourselves or for someone else. In the three cases described above there is a very deliberate effort made to create a memory. In each of these cases, it is recognized that there is a special moment, or opportunity, that may not come again.
I often leave you with a challenge for the week. This week I leave you with another tool that is a coaching favourite: an inquiry. An inquiry is a question that I ask you to think about often in the upcoming week. There will be many different answers to it. None of them is correct and none of them is incorrect. A good inquiry will cause you to think new thoughts. A good inquiry will cause you to reflect on your actions and perhaps even make some necessary alterations. A good inquiry helps you to recognize the power you have in your own life. The inquiry that I have for you this week is:
What kind of memory am I creating?
Don’t wait for a great moment to make change; take this moment and make great change.
Finding the tools you learn in these blogs to be helpful? Contact me today to learn more about how we can work together to facilitate the change you want.