We have had the most wonderful time over the Christmas holiday with our family.  I’m not quite ready to box up the season just yet, but with the New Year being rung in this weekend it does seem fitting to look forward to 2017 and all of the possibility it holds. 

The metaphor that I think works well in this scenario is to imagine standing on a stage, with the curtain closed.  When the curtain is opened on the New Year, each of us will find ourselves standing in the centre of the stage of our life.

I’m wondering what play I will star in this year.  I’m wondering what I will reveal of myself by opening the curtain.  I’m thinking about how I will bring my best self to my 2017 performance.  I’d like my play to have some predictability because it helps the audience to relax a bit.  But if it is too predictable, it runs the risk of being boring and so I think that there need to be a few twists and turns in it too.  I don’t know if it will be a musical or a comedy, a thriller or a drama. I know that I want the audience to be filled with my beloved family and friends and I want some special chairs to be reserved for potential new friends and acquaintances.

Many years ago, an influential Calgarian, Bob Freeze, generously offered a Leadership Program to some of the teachers at the school where I worked.  We met once each week for about 10 weeks.  This course was after work hours, in the evening.  I had young children and I knew that by attending the course I would miss out on some time with them.  I also knew that I might not get this chance again and so I signed up.  This was where I first learned about setting life goals, and about making choices.  I think, ultimately, that even though Life and Leadership Coaches had not been ‘invented’ at that time, this was the first step that opened my eyes to this possibility.  One of the things that our instructor, Brenda, taught us was that before every single class that she facilitated, she got herself ready, and just before entering the room where she would facilitate, she would say to herself, “It’s ShowTime!”  This idea of choosing how we present ourselves really resonated with me.  I use the idea, although not the same words, many places in my life.  I use the idea of ‘Curtain Time’ to simply remind me that I get to choose who I am being, every time I step on the stage of my life. I use it to bring my best self to my life.  In truth, I get to make this choice each time I open my eyes in the morning.

This New Year, when I herald in 2017, I will be thinking about drawing back the curtain on the stage of my life.  I want to open the curtain to a magnificent set; one with many different backdrops.  This being the 150th birthday of Canada I expect that many of my backdrops of 2017 will have a distinctly Canadian look.  I hope that the sets are breathtaking and that a few of them are unexpectedly beautiful.

I am planning to be the main character in my play.  I plan to be the protagonist of the story.  Perhaps I’ll even be a heroine.  I’m thinking about revealing a new, braver me.  My business life will reveal some new workshops, and I plan to be brave enough to offer small group coaching.  I intend change my company name to Critchley Coaching and to reveal a couple of webinars on my website.  I also plan to continue this blog.  I have been asked to publish some of my blog posts in a book, so there might be a short act in my 2017 play involving that too.

Outside of my coaching work, I hope that when the curtain opens I commit to being fully present for my family and friends.  Several of the scenes should include adventures involving these people.  I plan to include many extras in this 2017 play.  Perhaps I’ll even re-introduce some characters that I have let slide in the past.

I realize too, that when the curtain of my life is opened, it may not only reveal my hopes and dreams, but it may also reveal some of my fears and weaknesses.  I plan to allow myself to observe these, and at the same time not allow them to upstage me.  If I can find just the perfect playwright, I may even be able to overcome these or at least make peace with them. 

As you enter 2017, my inquiry for you is this.  ‘What is it that you are willing to open the curtain on this year?’

If you would like help writing your 2017 play, please contact me for coaching.  Please watch my website for my new offerings and plan to become involved!  It could be your best year yet!

Jim and I stole away last weekend.  I’d been putting in some long work hours, the temperature was hovering around, Brooks and Dunn were playing at Caesar’s with Reba, flight and hotel packages were cheap and voila, we found ourselves in Las Vegas.

I wouldn’t exactly say that Vegas is the obvious place to find Peace on Earth but given my earlier resolution to find the Christmas Spirit within the busyness of my days, I assumed I could easily find it in the sunshine of the Las Vegas Strip.
While I must say that I loved the moderate temperature and the sunny skies, I didn’t exactly have to dodge in and around the Christmas Spirit on our first days.  In fact, I had fully expected all of the hotels to have ‘Decked Their Halls’ but the truth was that it was a lot easier to find a ‘Great Deal on Dinner and a Show’ than it was to find some garland and a Christmas tree.   The Babe in the Manger must have missed his flight for there was not a sign of him anywhere.   Knowing that the Christmas Spirit often appears in disguise, I was undaunted in my search.

On Day Three of our extended weekend I caught my first real glimpse of Christmas Present.  We had  rented a car and driven from Vegas to Zion National Park, located just inside the Utah border. We had been there before and we were looking forward to a peaceful day of hiking in the mountains.  We were not disappointed.  The park was quiet.  The sun was shining.  Santa’s deer were grazing in a meadow getting ready for the big night – or at least I assume it was them since they were exactly nine in number.

My moment of peace arrived when we were getting close to the top of the Emerald Pools hike.  This hike climbs up and up, to three beautiful pools of water.  Just in between the middle and top pool the terrain changes from fairly smooth pathways to very rocky and unsteady footing.  Every step up must be considered so as to not lose your balance.  Along this stretch we saw another couple ahead of us.  Although this couple was younger than us and they looked to be in better shape, we easily closed the gap between us and them.  As we got close enough to say hello, we saw that the man was blind; completely blind.
Every single step he took was carefully choreographed.  The woman held his left elbow and he held his white cane in his right hand.  She gently have him instructions.  “Pick up your right foot.  Lift it about eight inches up and place it slightly forward.  You will feel a rock to step on.  That’s good.  Your left foot won’t fit beside it so you’ll place it a bit in front of your right foot on another bigger rock.  Got it.”

And so it went.  Step after slow step.  All the way up the mountain.  I have no idea how long the hike took them.  It was about a 6-7 km trail, round trip.  Although it was a spectacular view from the top, the vista did not give me that ‘Spirit of the Season’ feeling I was seeking.  The couple however, did.  There, on the side of the mountain, watching them patiently work together, I felt peace.  I understood what it was to give from the heart.  The difficulty of this climb for them would have been insurmountable for most.  Somehow, in the midst of it all they worked together and they modeled peace: peace with each other, peace with their abilities, peace in the feeling of perfect trust with each other and peace with life.   What a gift to behold.

My second peek into the Spirit of Christmas came on our very last day in Vegas.  We checked out of our hotel, leaving our bags behind to pick up later and we struck out for our last walk up the strip.  We had seen most of the hotels by then but had left the inside of the Bellagio for last.  I’m so glad we did.  Whereas in the other hotels there might have been a token wreath or a few bulbs hanging from the ceiling, in the Bellagio, Christmas was alive and well.  The lobby was beautifully decorated and ahead of us was a huge open foyer decorated as a magnificent winter wonderland.  There was an electric train bound for the North Pole, a massive Christmas tree with elves on ladders decorating it, there were penguins and polar bears. The thing that caught my eye in the midst of all the tourists and cameras and talking and pointing was a man, a worker, who was putting the finishing touches on one of the polar bears.  The huge bear was made entirely of fresh flowers.  Beside the bear sat the man, patiently attaching one white carnation after the next on the side of the bear.  This man had obviously been hired to do this.  It was simply his job. But to watch the way that he placed his full attention on every single detail of his work was to recognize peace.   The world bustled past him but he gently continued to take great pride in his craftsmanship.  I watched him for quite some time and thought about the many jobs I had yet to complete at home.  I was hoping that I had left enough room in my suitcase to pack some of his spirit, his peaceful gentle way and his understanding that the busyness of the season does have to outshine the beauty of the moment and that peace can be found anywhere we choose.

I wish for each of you peace this season; peace within your heart, peace within your home and peace among those you meet.

In keeping with my strong value of family, I will not publish a blog next week.  Instead, I will be very busy preparing for and being grateful for the opportunity to spend Christmas with our family who will all be together this year.
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Merry Christmas!  

This past week I attended a meeting at St. Mary’s University.  I serve as a Practicum Advisor, observing students as they perfect their teaching skills out in the field.  The meeting was a ‘Return to Campus’ meeting for the students and faculty.  Part of the agenda for this day includes a time for the Advisors to offer a tidbit of advice; another part is an opportunity for the students to ask questions.

Over the past months, the students have repeatedly heard that their actions, behaviours, and words are watched very carefully by their students.  They ar e reminded of the impact that they can have on these young minds.

As various students shared some of their ‘moments’ from the past weeks, we heard stories of success and some of, as they put it, “Complete FAIL”.  Several student teachers commented that they did not feel as if they had measured up in some way to the standard they had set for them self in their mind.  I recalled having this feeling as a young teacher – I remember not wanting to say anything that could hurt a student.

After listening to the students, it was time for the advisors to offer advice.  One of the Advisors said the following to the students, “Let’s think about how important you are to your students.  You are really, really important.  What you say does matter.  HOWEVER, you are not important enough to cause all of their good and bad behaviours.  Nor are you important enough to cause all of their good and bad feelings.  Nor are you important enough to be responsible for all of their joys and sorrows.”

What a message!  I loved that the student teachers were given the gift of these words.  It made me realize that we would all do well to heed this advice in our everyday lives.

Even in the context of Christmas, I thought about how this applies.  We often we beat ourselves up because we have not found the ideal gift, made the perfect meal, been the perfect friend, hosted the perfect evening, baked the perfect treats, or planned the perfect days.  We somehow assume that out of all of the people in our lives, it is our sole responsibility to make sure everything is just so.  And when something does go wrong, we are quick to remind ourselves over and over about what we could or should have done differently.

For the next few weeks, I am going to remind myself of my great importance! :)  I will remind myself that I am really, really important.  I will also remind myself that I am not so important that I am responsible for every good or bad thing that happens this season.  What I am responsible for is to bring my best self (not my best baking or my cleanest house) to the holiday season.

And when I attend an event I will remember some sage words that my Dad told us when we were kids.  He said that if we were invited to go to someone’s house or to a party, and if the hosts provided a space, and some food and other people, then it was up to us to provide our own good time.  Our good time was not to be the responsibility of anyone else.

Heading into this next week, I plan to remind myself daily of my importance.  May you too, notice exactly how important you are and practice living accordingly.  During this season, I believe that there is something very important to be celebrated.  Something like Peace on Earth.  Or maybe the little baby who was born in a manger.
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Learn how to manage your own ‘importance’.  Contact me today to learn more about how we can work together to facilitate the change you want.

All of a sudden it’s December and Christmas is coming toward us like “a low hanging branch on a fast moving horse’!   My schedule has been particularly full this last month and will remain so for the next three weeks as I work with clients and finish up my work with Education Students from St. Mary’s University.  On Monday, I realized just how tight things were when I was going over my week in my head.  I got to Thursday and thought, ‘Wow, that seems like a lot’.  So I opened my old fashioned pen and paper calendar to November, where I had carefully written every appointment.  Because November ended on a Wednesday, Thursday, December 1st was also on this double page and it was there that I had written my schedule for December 1st.  When I flipped the page to the actual December calendar I saw that I had also written my schedule for December 1st on the ‘December’ double page.  The problem was that I had fully booked myself for December 1st twice!  The appointments on the ‘November’ pages were completely different than the ones on the ‘December’ pages.  I guess that I had needed an extra day to get everything squeezed in so I just invented a new day!  Luckily, a few phone calls and emails later, I had rescheduled and was back to a typical seven day week!
 
This little faux pas on my part was a good reminder to me of the craziness that can be found in December.  Each of us is trying to juggle many things as we head into the holiday season.  There are gifts to be bought, homes to be decorated, baking and cooking to be done, parties to host, concerts to attend, and cards to be written.  And of course this can be on top of working outside of or inside the home.  It’s not hard to imagine why this season of love often brings out less than loving feelings!
 
I have been feeling a bit behind on my Christmas ‘to do list’ this year.  My strategy for managing this was to open my calendar and to schedule in some time in the evening, or between client appointments, for cleaning, cooking, shopping etc.  But somewhere this week, and for the life of me I cannot remember where at the time of my writing, I read this: “I don’t even care that I arrived here.  I could have arrived anywhere – it was the journey that changed my life.”
 
This comment has made me rethink my ‘calendar’ strategy.  I do still think that I need a list to remind me of everything I want to have done before we start driving to the airport to pick up our guests.  However, I have been doing some serious thinking about how I will approach my list.  In other words, who will I ‘be’ as I am busy ‘doing’?  What do I want my journey to Christmas to look like? 
 
As you know, this way of thinking is not new for me so it has been easy for me to come up with a few simple changes that I can make that will make my journey to Christmas more joyful:
 
I have chosen to play Christmas music as I drive.  I have chosen to stop what I am doing when a family member or friend calls to talk so that I can be fully present with them.  I have chosen to take time to decorate a bit earlier so that I have a physical reminder of what all the hustle is about.  I have chosen to sign up to dance at three Senior’s Centres with our dance group (one hour each), even though this will tighten my schedule in other places.   I have chosen to take an evening walk through the lights at Spruce Meadows.  I have chosen to buy a gift that is a ‘memory maker’ for our kids and their spouses. (This means that we will be doing something together that hopefully will become a treasured memory).  I have chosen to treat all sales people with respect.  I have chosen to buy gifts that I am happy to give.  Jim and I have chosen to return to a tradition we had when we were first married and could not afford many decorations – we used to make a new one each year.  We still hang these on our tree and they give us incredible joy as we recall the year we made them.  This year we collected pine cones while we were on our bike trip in BC and we have decided to use them to make our decoration for this year.  We have chosen to go to Banff on Sunday with our friend Jan, to be part of an outside concert at dusk.  I have chosen to make our home a welcoming place.  I have chosen to be grateful.
 
My inquiry for you this week is, ‘What does my journey to Christmas look like?’  Ask it often, and listen for the answers.
 
 Contact me today to learn more about how we can work together to facilitate the change you want.
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