Andy, now two and a half, is incredibly fun to be with. He has a gentle, playful personality and as one-who-has-an-older-brother, he works hard to keep up. His place in the family has come with some benefits, some of which may not be fully appreciated for years to come. With child number two, or three or four or …., there is not nearly as much time for doting; these kids discover independent play and learn to find ways to amuse themselves early in life. This is Andy. He is quite content with himself. He also welcomes others to join him when they have time, but he definitely displays independence even at this age.
I’ve been really loving his communication in these past few months. He can say anything he wants, he speaks in complete sentences, and has a very quick sense of humour. So, when he can get a word in edgewise, he always has great things to say. A couple of months ago, not to be outdone by Ben, Andy wanted to learn the ‘Exploding Dice’ trick that Ben had just received and was trying to perfect. We set up an Andy version of it. He started by saying, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, I am going to make this dice explode’. This was followed by some silence, then prompting and then, with great expression and showmanship, ‘Abba da DA da! He would then complete the trick with one shake of his tiny hand, look with wonderment at this same hand and exclaim with delight, ‘It worked!’.
I could watch this trick for hours.
This week I’ve been sorting through some clothes, hoping to make a donation in the next week or so. I always have some clothes on hand for the boys for days when we suddenly find ourselves needing a fresh shirt or socks, but as I sorted through their clothes I realized that many of the things I have are things that have been outgrown.
Andy saw my pile of sorted clothes this week and picked up a green sleep sack he used to use. He asked me what it was. I told him it was what he used for sleeping when he was a baby.
‘Oh’, he replied. He thought about it for a minute and then said, ‘Was I a little tiny baby?’
‘Yes’, I replied.
And then from him, ‘But now I am Andy.’
This stopped me in my tracks. I can’t get it out of my mind. What a sense of self he has.
He is Andy.
All of us go through life wearing many different hats. Often, we wake up already wearing a hat. Perhaps that of Mom or Dad, Gramma or Grampa, or runner, or current event enthusiast. Throughout the day we quickly and easily change into CEO, teacher, doctor, mechanic, consultant, or cashier. We might don the hat of organizer, nurse, comforter, driver, friend, sister, brother, aunt or uncle, social media expert, disrupter, comedian, coach, cook or musician.
While it isn’t easy to admit, there are many times when we change hats, that we also change ourselves to make our hat look ever so slightly better.
Andy hasn’t learned to do this yet. Part of me hopes he never does. There is something so grounded and precious about a person who knows themselves so well, and has become the version of themselves that best represents themself, that they don’t change when they change their hat. It’s an admirable quality to not bend and twist ourselves into more palatable expressions of ourselves.
Here comes Christmas. The season is upon us. With this week’s snow I feel like it is now rushing toward us. I, like everyone else, have a closet filled with hats I’m going to need to wear this season. But what I‘ve been focusing on since I heard little Andy say, ‘But now I am Andy’, is thinking deeply about what small adjustments I can make so that at any time, no matter what hat I am wearing, I can simply know, ‘I am Elizabeth’.
This involves dropping my self-imposed expectations of how I should show up in various roles. Andy’s wise little comment has made me realize there is absolutely no reason for me to send my representatives out on my behalf. Not anywhere. Instead, I will ponder who I am at my best self, what it is that makes me me, and practice simply showing up as her.
I suspect when we do this, we are at our absolute best. What a gift this would be to others in our lives. Most of our family and friends don’t need the mother, CEO, coach, nurse, organizer, expert, version of us. They don’t need us to show up in any fancy hat. They simply need, and want, us.
This season, I challenge you to show up as yourself; your truest, best version of yourself. The version you would be proud to have someone accidentally see, or the version you would be proud to have shown on the front page of the paper.
For my part, I’m going to do this too. I’m also going to continue to encourage Andy (and Ben, of course) to continue being himself, to follow his passions, to lean into the things that bring him joy, and to continue to be able to say, ‘I am Andy’.
I’m taking the rest of this month off from this blog. I’ll see you in the New Year. May this Christmas Season be one of peace, love, hope and you.
My inquiry for you this season is to finish this sentence, ‘Now I am …’
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to learn how to live into the sentence, ‘And now I am me’.
I’ve been really loving his communication in these past few months. He can say anything he wants, he speaks in complete sentences, and has a very quick sense of humour. So, when he can get a word in edgewise, he always has great things to say. A couple of months ago, not to be outdone by Ben, Andy wanted to learn the ‘Exploding Dice’ trick that Ben had just received and was trying to perfect. We set up an Andy version of it. He started by saying, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, I am going to make this dice explode’. This was followed by some silence, then prompting and then, with great expression and showmanship, ‘Abba da DA da! He would then complete the trick with one shake of his tiny hand, look with wonderment at this same hand and exclaim with delight, ‘It worked!’.
I could watch this trick for hours.
This week I’ve been sorting through some clothes, hoping to make a donation in the next week or so. I always have some clothes on hand for the boys for days when we suddenly find ourselves needing a fresh shirt or socks, but as I sorted through their clothes I realized that many of the things I have are things that have been outgrown.
Andy saw my pile of sorted clothes this week and picked up a green sleep sack he used to use. He asked me what it was. I told him it was what he used for sleeping when he was a baby.
‘Oh’, he replied. He thought about it for a minute and then said, ‘Was I a little tiny baby?’
‘Yes’, I replied.
And then from him, ‘But now I am Andy.’
This stopped me in my tracks. I can’t get it out of my mind. What a sense of self he has.
He is Andy.
All of us go through life wearing many different hats. Often, we wake up already wearing a hat. Perhaps that of Mom or Dad, Gramma or Grampa, or runner, or current event enthusiast. Throughout the day we quickly and easily change into CEO, teacher, doctor, mechanic, consultant, or cashier. We might don the hat of organizer, nurse, comforter, driver, friend, sister, brother, aunt or uncle, social media expert, disrupter, comedian, coach, cook or musician.
While it isn’t easy to admit, there are many times when we change hats, that we also change ourselves to make our hat look ever so slightly better.
Andy hasn’t learned to do this yet. Part of me hopes he never does. There is something so grounded and precious about a person who knows themselves so well, and has become the version of themselves that best represents themself, that they don’t change when they change their hat. It’s an admirable quality to not bend and twist ourselves into more palatable expressions of ourselves.
Here comes Christmas. The season is upon us. With this week’s snow I feel like it is now rushing toward us. I, like everyone else, have a closet filled with hats I’m going to need to wear this season. But what I‘ve been focusing on since I heard little Andy say, ‘But now I am Andy’, is thinking deeply about what small adjustments I can make so that at any time, no matter what hat I am wearing, I can simply know, ‘I am Elizabeth’.
This involves dropping my self-imposed expectations of how I should show up in various roles. Andy’s wise little comment has made me realize there is absolutely no reason for me to send my representatives out on my behalf. Not anywhere. Instead, I will ponder who I am at my best self, what it is that makes me me, and practice simply showing up as her.
I suspect when we do this, we are at our absolute best. What a gift this would be to others in our lives. Most of our family and friends don’t need the mother, CEO, coach, nurse, organizer, expert, version of us. They don’t need us to show up in any fancy hat. They simply need, and want, us.
This season, I challenge you to show up as yourself; your truest, best version of yourself. The version you would be proud to have someone accidentally see, or the version you would be proud to have shown on the front page of the paper.
For my part, I’m going to do this too. I’m also going to continue to encourage Andy (and Ben, of course) to continue being himself, to follow his passions, to lean into the things that bring him joy, and to continue to be able to say, ‘I am Andy’.
I’m taking the rest of this month off from this blog. I’ll see you in the New Year. May this Christmas Season be one of peace, love, hope and you.
My inquiry for you this season is to finish this sentence, ‘Now I am …’
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to learn how to live into the sentence, ‘And now I am me’.
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