Driving home from yoga this week I listened to a radio show featuring a heart specialist. He spoke on everything from the incidence of heart disease and cardiac arrests to the prevention of each of those. I enjoyed hearing his information and at the same time found my mind wandering to two heart events in our family, one several years ago, and one just last week.
When Jim had his heart attack, over a decade ago, we were living on our acreage outside the Calgary city limits. At the time, the province had adopted a centralized emergency response system, meaning when 911 was dialed, the person answering the phone was not situated in Calgary, nor were they familiar with the city or the surrounding area. This led first to several dropped calls, and then to a delay in the ambulance being deployed. Complicating matters, one of the medics thought they knew the way to our acreage and opted to use their own internal GPS over the satellite one in the ambulance. This further delayed help, making the total response time to be about 44 minutes. Our home was a 17-minute, normal speed drive from the dispatching Emergency Services station.
The great news is that while the paramedic did not have quite as good an internal GPS as he imagined, he and his partner had the absolute best medical skills. They were in immediate contact with the cardiologist at Foothills hospital, had Jim stabilized and on proper medications before they ever left our yard, and their bedside manner was beyond incredible. Once on the road, they were at Foothills hospital in under 20 minutes, a ride that normally takes between 45 and 50 minutes in clear weather. Jim recounts them saying, ‘Light ‘er up!’ when they hit the main road.
Our next few weeks and months after that scary evening, were a blur, with a stay in ICU, open-heart surgery, a stay in Cardiac ICU, the return to home, the failure of the wires holding Jim’s sternum together, the second surgery planned, and finally, figuring out how to process it all.
Our second cardiac event occurred just last week. Little Andy was upstairs with Jim when I heard him crying. He sounded hurt but I waited to see how it would play out. The crying stopped and a little while later he and Jim came downstairs. ‘Andy’, I said, ‘Are you ok? I heard you crying? What happened?’
Andy’s little face just crumbled and he started to cry again. ‘I was heartbroken’, he said as he came for a hug. As I hugged him, he revealed that his heart had been broken when Grampa told him no. Later that evening he was back at home and his mom told him to stop touching the treats she was assembling into treat bags for Ben’s party. Andy hopped down from his chair, went to Kaitlyn and sadly told her:
‘You did broke my heart’.
Both stories have a happy ending. Andy’s sweet little heart was easily fixed with a good hug. Jim’s was fixed too, with the skill of several incredible surgeons, a team of health care providers, and so many kindnesses received from friends and family around the world.
A couple of months after Jim’s cardiac event, our neighbours and friends, Susan and Daryl, met us walking on the road and stopped for a visit. Susan told us Jim’s experience had inspired Daryl to purchase a portable defibrillator after Jim’s incident. Daryl knew that even if the ambulance had been dispatched immediately, and even if there had not been a further delay, Daryl certainly could have arrived at our home within a couple of minutes of receiving a phone call from us.
Daryl downplayed his thoughtfulness, mentioning he had purchased defibrillators for work, had learned how to use them, and decided to buy one for their home to ensure his neighbours, and their family, were all covered if the need should arise again.
The truth is this though; Daryl is simply an incredibly thoughtful person. Over and over, we have known he and Susan to notice ways they can positively contribute and to quietly go about making life better for others. These two have full hearts, and they find countless ways to fill the hearts of others.
The vast majority of us will never need the use of a defibrillator, like the one Daryl has at the ready on their acreage. But every single one of us does have a heart and most of our hearts would benefit from the kind of love that Daryl showed us so many years ago. There is plenty of scientific evidence helping us understand how to improve our heart health. We all know diet, exercise, sleep and avoiding smoking are important, but it’s also true that heart health is improved by good relationships and by decreasing stress. Every one of us has the ability to help the heart health of others by being a good friend, by being a thoughtful and kind acquaintance, and even by treating strangers with love. We have no idea what people are dealing with, nor do we have any idea how our small actions may impact others. What we do know is that both the giver and the receiver's hearts benefit from kindnesses.
As I thought back on our time from Jim’s heart event, I recalled writing an email update every evening upon returning from the hospital. I saved all those updates and looked back through them today. I was looking for one entry in particular and found it:
On my drive home tonight, I was thinking about Jim’s open-heart surgery. Jim has the most open heart of all the people I know. I am counting on that to get us through.
It is a beautiful Blue Moon Night. A rare occurrence. So is a second chance at life.
It was so easy to pick Andy up and give him a big snuggle when I learned he was heartbroken. It’s not so easy to notice hurt hearts in others. We’ve learned to hide our hurts well.
In this month of February, heart month, let us use the power we have to increase the heart health of all those in our lives. We can do this with a good hug, a kind word, a smile, an offer of friendship or an act of service. And we can certainly easily do it when a sweet little boy lets us know that ‘you did broke my heart’.
My inquiry for you this week is ‘How am I improving the heart health of those in my life?’
Elizabeth is a certified professional Leadership Coach, and the owner of Critchley Coaching. She is the founder and president of the Canadian charity, RDL Building Hope Society. She works with corporations, non-profits and the public sector, providing leadership coaching. She creates and facilitates custom workshops for all sizes of groups and has expertise in facilitating Strategic Plans for organizations. Contact Elizabeth to learn how to no to improve heart health.